Hello all! Welcome back to the blog!
This post comes from a lot of different places mentally for me. As someone who is most definitely more introverted than extroverted, I have always had trouble making friends. I have never been able to speak out and ask others to make plans with me especially if I hardly know them. I try and the words won’t come out and I know I’m not alone in this. I’m not outgoing, and I know that. So I have plenty of reasons to write this post, but the major reason is that I want others to know the reality of college when you are not the outgoing one, the reality when you are introverted.
The reality of college changes for everyone so this is just my perspective~ take it with a grain of salt and know that your reality may be entirely different from mine.
But let’s begin from the beginning, there I was, just transferred from a community college (which was larger than my four-year by the way!) to complete the rest of my bachelors degree at a four-year school. I was timid (who am I kidding, I still am!). I wanted to meet people but didn’t know how, so I did what you are probably doing now or even did in the past. I looked up on google, “how to make friends in college,” simple yet ~elegant~. Then while reading the various articles, I learned, making friends at college means that you need to be outgoing. One of the common tips is to leave your door open. I really, and I mean REALLY was not comfortable with that. The next tip was to randomly introduce yourself to your classmates. Again, I am not great at speaking to new people. It’s not my thing.
So at this point, you may be wondering, “did you ever figure out a good way to make friends in college or is this ~clickbait~?”
Yes, I did figure out a way to make friends. Eventually after trying many methods that is. But the way I made friends was cliche and simple. I joined a club. To be honest, this was my last resort because I was unsure what club I really would want to join and become a member of. I’m picky in that way, I didn’t want the club to be a waste of my time and even, a waste of what little money I have. Yes, I do identify as a broke college student. My identity does not define me but I am still ~broke~.
After joining the club, I began to finally, slowly find my way through the dynamic of a college social life. The reason why I don’t want you to believe that my experience will be your experience is because I was a transfer student. I was starting my junior year when I transferred so all the cliques (yes, you never escape that clique lifestyle from college) were already formed. Transferring left me feeling alone and unwanted in some ways. I didn’t know how to make friends because I was not outgoing.
Everyone knew everyone, except me. Or at least that’s how it felt at the time. I felt alone for a very long time. I still feel alone sometimes especially while I have been back living at home because of our beloved COVID. But I’m not alone in this life and neither are you! I found where I belonged at college and my world changed for the better. My happiness continued to grow, then as I said, COVID happened, but that’s a story for a different day. I am still friends with people from college that I haven’t been able to see for awhile and they mean the world to me whether they realize it or not.
The key thing to remember here is that loneliness is temporary. You will find friends in college, it may come easy to you, or it may be more difficult for you like it was for me. But once you find the right people, you will be a million times happier than before. So if you have just recently begun college, keep your head up and find a club. A club worked for me, it may be what work for you. Find a setting you are comfortable in and thrive in it!
Thank you for reading! Tell me in the comments below if my story was helpful to you? Was it easy for you to find friends in college or did it take time?