Embracing Loss – It’s Not Easy and I Still Am Not Sure I Get It

Hello y’all and welcome back to the blog!

It’s me again and this post is more or less for me to vent but I also think that it is a very important important topic to discuss.

Back on August 2nd, I turned 21. Though that day was supposed to be many great things, my aunt Delores passed that day. We knew that it was coming, she had been in a hospice house for at least a few days. But it still came as a shock to me. And yet, I haven’t cried. I’ve wanted to cry, but I haven’t. I don’t know what is holding me together, I don’t know if it is my faith or something else. I remember the day she passed, not only because it was my birthday, but also because just a few hours prior to her passing, I prayed. Now, I’m not that religious, I want to be more involved in my religion, but I accept that I’m not. But I prayed anyways. I prayed that I wanted my aunt Delores to be out of pain. I prayed that I would be okay if she passed on my birthday and that I just wanted her to be free of her pain. God answered those prayers quickly. I remember when I prayed this, I didn’t think that my prayers would be answered that quick. But they did. And just like that, in a moments notice, my favorite aunt passed without me even getting the chance to visit her. And yet, I think I’m fine. I somehow have held it together.

This story is my first. I had never had a family member die. Not once before her and I had just turned 21. Most of my family members had died before I was born. So I didn’t fully understand it when others cried about their loved ones dying. I know how foolish this sounds. I know how innocent this sounds. I know how blessed I am to have gone that long without having a family member die. But life hit me like a semi-truck on a highway. Life and reality slapped me. But the funny thing is, I’m not sure how to act still. I’m in pain from her passing and yet, I know that I’ll be okay. I know that she is in a better place, but if I didn’t have my faith, I don’t know if I would’ve held it together. Coping has kept me together.

I know that this was not an exceptionally long post but I definitely appreciate you reading! It means the world to have your continued support!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Tell me in the comments below, how do you cope? How do you handle hardships?

2 thoughts on “Embracing Loss – It’s Not Easy and I Still Am Not Sure I Get It

  1. Losing a loved one is difficult, and it’s good to hear that you’re doing okay, though, like you said, the grieving process is not so simple to understand. I’ve coped in a very similar way, by turning to God, and I honestly also don’t know what it would be like without faith that Jesus is taking care of us and the loved one who has passed.

    I’ve lost many family members (nobody in my immediate family, though), and while I didn’t always cry for some, especially the ones who died when I was little, sometimes the grief hits me out of nowhere. But I also come out of that situation knowing I’ll be okay. Thank you for sharing on this tough topic, and I hope that you and your family are doing well!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It was not easy but I really wanted to address it! I appreciate your kind words! I’m thankful to have been able to write about it. As we get further from the day she passed, I come to accept it more. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day! Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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