Losing a Family Member – A Personal Statement

Hi y’all!

I know, I know, I’ve been disappearing and reappearing like the ghost of Christmas past a lot recently. Honestly, these past six months have been the most difficult and life-altering months of my life. I thought I knew more than I did and it shows now more than ever. As you may know, my father died in May. In June, I got an Eeyore tattoo to commemorate him and his memory. He was so tough to live with but I wanted something to remember him with. Then, this past month on Halloween, I got a ghost tattoo. It didn’t even occur to me that it had only been a few months.

It feels like it’s been years and yet only moments since he passed. The world is spinning quicker and yet slower than ever. I wanted to write this post and honestly was listening to the new “All Too Well” 10-minute version and just said screw it and started typing.

The thing about depression in the face of loss or even depression, in general, is that you can be drowning but functioning just fine. You don’t have to be physically running to be getting away from reality.

At the end of the day, every day is easier, but it will always hurt. A loss gets easier but it never disappears. Some days, you will not think about them, and some, you will think about them and wonder what might have been. I always wonder what I could have changed but I couldn’t have changed anything. I miss my father, but I will live every day and work to make him and my family proud.

Thank you for reading!

I’m Back!

Hi y’all!

I know, I’ve been gone a hot minute and sort of just disappeared off the face of the earth for awhile. It wasn’t idea but a lot has happened in the past few months that has left me with more questions than answers.

Where do I even begin with my life recently?

Well, my father passed away May 14th which was a very difficult time for me. I realized that I wasn’t as ready for his passing as I had figured I’d be. And honestly, it fucking hurt. It put a lot into perspective for me. I started questioning every part of my life because I was worried I lost my path. I’m a big believer in fate and have worked hard to get where I am today so, this killed me. It broke me in some way. I’ve grown a lot over the past few months.

Other than that, school and work have been a lot but I’m planning a lot of good posts for this blog so stay tuned!

Thank you for being patient!!

Alone v. Lonely – A Distinction Overlooked

Hello everyone!

I’m back again! This post is kind of going to be about something close to my heart that I think is not talked about as much as it should be.

The difference between being alone and lonely.

Growing up, if you say that you’re lonely, most people will instantly say back to you that you are not alone. But, being alone and feeling lonely are two totally different things and really, there can be some correlations between them, but not always. Definitely not often enough to have this immediate mental correlation that most people have.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I feel lonely often even when I am surrounded by people. Feeling lonely is an emotion that we all feel at some point. In a world of billions of people, we can feel as lonely as possible. Truth be told, I don’t know why this is. Loneliness is so much more than being alone physically. There have been times where I was at work around multiple people and yet I also felt like I was the only person there. This contradiction is strange in that it is often not thought about.

I mean truly, when was the last time you felt lonely? Yesterday? A week ago? Months ago?

Why do I feel lonely even when I’m surrounded by people?

In reality, we can ask ourselves these questions for an eternity if we wanted to, and yet, we would never find an answer. The human mind is so complicated that even these seemingly simple questions can make us feel like we’re in the midst of a quarter life crisis. Or even worse, an existential crisis!

But the main reason I’m even writing this to begin with is to remind people of how important it is to understand the difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

Without true understanding, it can feel like you’re being judged and ridiculed for feeling a normal human emotion.

The scariest thing about being human is being judged for feeling emotional. Society has created a concept that if you’re sad, you’re automatically depressed or the opposite happens where there is not enough understanding when it comes to being depressed. Unfortunately, there is no true way to help people through feeling lonely without making an immediate assumption. But even if there is an assumption, I think the main thing is to just be willing to listen. Pushing your opinion of how the person shouldn’t be lonely is actually not helpful at all even when there are good intentions behind it.

So, that being said, I hope that this post has helped someone! I mean, it’s not much but this topic is so so important to face!

Thank you for reading! Let me know in the comments what you think of this topic!

Life After College – Job Hunting

Hey party people!

It’s me, Savannah! I’m finally back after what felt like an eternity. I wish I could’ve posted sooner but time and life got away from me for awhile. But today, I’m back with an important PSA about life after college.

Getting your first “real” job. Dun dun DUNNNNNN

OK but real talk, on February 15th, I started my first real job after getting my degree back in December. It was a weird experience but that’s why I’m here now, to relate my own weird experience. Especially since it was job hunting in the midst of the pandemic!

Getting this particular job was a roller coaster of emotions so let’s start from the top and work our way down the rabbit hole. I had first applied at this company way back in October because I was like, I need to find a job that actually pays something. Working minimum wage can be fun but really, once I know I could get a better job, I started looking. So anyways, I applied and went through the whole prescreen and first interview shebang, ya know, casual.

And by casual, I mean stressful~

But I did the first interview and I really thought the recruiter loved me but I didn’t ever hear anything back after that. As someone who believes in fate and destiny, I just assumed that I wasn’t meant to work at this company and that never hearing back was just my sign to move on. But life is funny that way. You believe one thing and the next minute, life changes. Life changed because around January, I was praying that God would give me a sign on what I was meant to do in life. I had gotten another job but my heart told me it wasn’t right for me. So I prayed for a sign that would lead me on the right path.

And that sign hit me like a semi truck.

By that I mean, I ended up getting a call from my now manager telling me that I had interviewed with someone from the company and that she recommended me for a position that opened up in my managers department. Mind you, it had been at least a few months since I had applied and interviewed with them. Safe to say, I did not even remember interviewing. My brain was mush from all the applications and starting grad school… perks of going to grad school! But anyways, I ended up interviewing with my now manager and she liked me (I guess that is clear but oh well, context~)! So then, I interviewed with at least three other people and finally got a job offer!

While getting this job and getting started was a rollercoaster of a journey, I am so thankful to be where I am now. The reason I’m writing this post to begin with is to show that even when your job search begins to feel hopeless, even when you think you haven’t found what you’re looking for, you will find where you’re meant to be. Some people may find the job of their dreams instantly and some may take much longer, but believe me when I say that it is so nice to feel at home with a job that you love doing!

But I also want to note that it takes some time to find a job, but my best advice is to be yourself. I know this may sound a tad naïve, and maybe it is. But, when interviewing, interviewers are looking for someone who is genuine. Interviewers are looking for someone who is more than an actor, or at least, that is from my own experiences!

Above all else, I hope that someone can get something from this post even when it can sound like the ramblings of a simple girl on a journey!

Thank you for reading about my own experience with job hunting after college! Let me know in the comments if I should do a tips post on how to find good jobs! Have a wonderful day!

The Pandemic and The Fear it Has Created

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the blog!

I know, you are probably like, Savannah you already have posted about the pandemic in your “The New Normal” post. While that is true, something happened the other day that really got me thinking.

My mother fell and hurt herself outside on the concrete. She had slipped on some leaves and hurt her ankle and back and is just in a lot of general pain. But even with all this pain, she didn’t go to the doctor. Why? Because she is afraid of not being able to work should she get the virus. She is self-employed which is part of the reason for this, but if your company is anything like the one I work for, you have to use your own PTO for your time off from the virus. But here’s the problem, what if you don’t have PTO? If this is the case, chances are you would avoid the doctor’s office at all costs too because you have bills to pay and refuse to risk exposure to the virus.

This is a major problem surrounding the pandemic right now. We are afraid of going to the doctor’s office which is actually so bad for your health. Your health is very important but what we think of the doctor’s office right now is not that. In fact, at this point in time, we considered the doctor’s office a risky place because there’s a heightened chance of getting the virus from here. Heck, we hear someone cough now and think that they have the virus. This perception is dangerous because we would rather be in pain than get exposed to the virus. We would rather allow our health to decline to stay safe.

This reality is crazier the more you think about it. In all reality, we don’t know where the virus could come from. You are just as susceptible to the virus in Walmart as you are in the doctor’s office. This is simply due to the fact that you really don’t know who has the virus and who doesn’t. A lot of people are asymptomatic as is which makes it that much more difficult to know who is sick and who is not. You can feel perfectly fine with the virus which is perhaps the scariest part about it.

That being said, while you should always be cautious and safe when going anywhere outside of home right now. If you are in intense pain, if you think something is wrong, make a doctor’s appointment. If you are concerned about catching the virus there, take proper precautions. Most doctor’s offices are taking temps and asking questions prior to allowing entrance to the office, but you should take your own protocols. But don’t sit at home and allow your health to deteriorate out of fear. Long-term, this is not the answer. Your health is so important.

Another option that is always out there if you is virtual visits. A ton of doctor’s offices are doing virtual visits to help protect you and ease your fears about getting the virus. But this just an option if you are afraid to go in the doctor’s offices.

I want to thank you for reading this post! I know that living in this pandemic is definitely not easy, but we will get through this. We will thrive and survive.

Tell me in the comments below, how do you feel about going to the doctor right now?

Why Volunteer – A Personal Stance

Hello all! Welcome back to the blog!

Today I want to talk about something close to my heart, something that some may think is a little sappy, that something is volunteering.

Honestly, I didn’t start volunteering until a few months ago. I didn’t think I needed to volunteer, I mean, why work and not be paid? Right? Wrong. Volunteering is not working if you find what is worth it for you. I started volunteering for a stupid reason, I wanted it for my resume at the time. I was about to graduate college and thought that it would make me stand out to recruiters. While this is partially true, I have grown fond of volunteering. Currently I am volunteering with a hospice agency calling families to check in to see how they are coping. While it is not always easy, I can definitely say that it has been rewarding.

Now then, volunteering is not for everyone and I am not saying that it is. However, I am saying that it is worth it to go online and search what types of volunteer work is out there.

You don’t want to have to leave your house or have no way of getting to your volunteer location? No problem, there is plenty of online volunteer work out there.

You don’t want to have a time commitment? That’s okay, there are plenty of one-time volunteering opportunities.

Generally speaking, you can find the opportunity that you are looking for. And if you don’t want to volunteer ever, don’t. Everything is up to you but I want to give you 5 reasons that you should volunteer so here are 5 reasons that volunteer work is worth your time!

  1. You can make someone else’s day and make another person smile!
  2. I mean, it does look good on a resume, just saying.
  3. It is convenient no matter what your situation is!
  4. It can give you a whole new perspective on life!
  5. Finally, it is calming! You’re doing something good which makes you feel happier, and if your volunteer work feels like a burden, find somewhere new to volunteer.

Long-term, volunteering is not meant to feel like a chore. Quite the contrary, volunteering is like a job. In a job, you should never feel like you have worked a day in your life and the same goes for volunteering.

If you decide you want to get into volunteering or even just see what is out there, Volunteer Match is a great website that shows you all of the volunteer opportunities that you could possibly want to look at!

Thank you for reading! I appreciate your time and I hope that this post was able to help you! Have a great day! Tell me in the comments, have you ever volunteered? If so, was it worth it for you? If not, would you ever consider volunteering?

Embracing Loss – It’s Not Easy and I Still Am Not Sure I Get It

Hello y’all and welcome back to the blog!

It’s me again and this post is more or less for me to vent but I also think that it is a very important important topic to discuss.

Back on August 2nd, I turned 21. Though that day was supposed to be many great things, my aunt Delores passed that day. We knew that it was coming, she had been in a hospice house for at least a few days. But it still came as a shock to me. And yet, I haven’t cried. I’ve wanted to cry, but I haven’t. I don’t know what is holding me together, I don’t know if it is my faith or something else. I remember the day she passed, not only because it was my birthday, but also because just a few hours prior to her passing, I prayed. Now, I’m not that religious, I want to be more involved in my religion, but I accept that I’m not. But I prayed anyways. I prayed that I wanted my aunt Delores to be out of pain. I prayed that I would be okay if she passed on my birthday and that I just wanted her to be free of her pain. God answered those prayers quickly. I remember when I prayed this, I didn’t think that my prayers would be answered that quick. But they did. And just like that, in a moments notice, my favorite aunt passed without me even getting the chance to visit her. And yet, I think I’m fine. I somehow have held it together.

This story is my first. I had never had a family member die. Not once before her and I had just turned 21. Most of my family members had died before I was born. So I didn’t fully understand it when others cried about their loved ones dying. I know how foolish this sounds. I know how innocent this sounds. I know how blessed I am to have gone that long without having a family member die. But life hit me like a semi-truck on a highway. Life and reality slapped me. But the funny thing is, I’m not sure how to act still. I’m in pain from her passing and yet, I know that I’ll be okay. I know that she is in a better place, but if I didn’t have my faith, I don’t know if I would’ve held it together. Coping has kept me together.

I know that this was not an exceptionally long post but I definitely appreciate you reading! It means the world to have your continued support!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Tell me in the comments below, how do you cope? How do you handle hardships?

Why Wanting Therapy is Not a Bad Thing

Hello all! Welcome back to the blog~

Today’s post is partially to tackle a major social stigma and the other half would be to just explain how therapy can be helpful even when you may not believe it can help.

Society has never been that open to mental illness. In conversations with others, it is instinctual to say one of two things when someone says “how are you?” Those two things are “I’m fine” or “I’m good.” There is nothing in-between. We are definitely taught from a young age that it is only socially acceptable to say something good. If you say that you are not okay, you are labeled and stigmatized. This does not make much sense though because we always will have a day when we don’t feel okay. We all have days when we just stare at a wall and think. But this is stigmatized and something must be wrong with you if you are not great even for a moment.

That is our society and while we have made advances as a society in accepting mental illness, we still have a long way to go to overcome such a long stigma.

You may be wondering at this point if I am ever going to get to the topic in the headline. Well I am now!

Wanting therapy is not a bad thing. For the longest time I thought that you had to be crazy to be in therapy. I truly thought that therapy was only for those who were really crazy. Again, social stigmatization taking over. But when I was 16, I was very depressed and had to go to a psych ward for a week. At the time, I thought I was crazy and thought everyone was crazy for thinking I needed help. I thought I was the only one that felt alone, I soon learned I wasn’t. This psych ward changed my life for the better. And yet, when you think of a psych ward, you probably think that I’m crazy. I wasn’t and still am not. I ended up going to therapy shortly after being released. It was life changing. I have fond memories of that therapist because she taught be something very valuable. She taught me that it was okay not to be okay. She taught me that being depressed could happen to anyone but anyone could also survive and overcome it.

Going to therapy is not a bad thing. It could save your life. The best thing about therapy would be that it teaches you that you are not alone. You could go to therapy simply to talk. Therapy is not always what they show in TV shows and movies, it is not always you laying on a couch reevaluating your life. Therapy is a lot of things and is worth it. Even going to one session allows you to get stuff off your chest.

I suppose my point to this post would be that you should ignore the stigma attached to therapy. You should ignore the stigma that there is something wrong with you if you want therapy or if you think you need help. It is okay to not feel okay.

I hope that this post finds you well. If you ever need someone to talk to in an emergency, please call the suicide hotline. Their number is 800-273-8255. Therapy does not have to be constant and even one conversation could make your day ten times better.

Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful day!

“The New Normal” or Whatever You Wanna Call it

Hey all! Welcome back!

When you think of life before the pandemic, what do you imagine? What comes to mind? Can you even remember life before the pandemic came around?

If I’m being honest, life before the pandemic for me is unimaginable. I don’t mean this in a good or bad way, I just can’t remember what we used to call “normal.” Even now, when I’m watching TV shows, I ask myself why the actors are not wearing masks. It sounds strange and a odd question, should I be considering masks a “normal” thing now? Last year, if you would have gone to anywhere at all wearing a mask, you would have just been identified as a criminal. You don’t want your face to be seen, you must be up to no good. And yet, here we are, wearing masks everywhere like nothing has changed.

While some cultures are accustomed to wearing masks when sick out in public, I have grown up in America where, in the past, I would’ve saw someone wearing a mask and thought they were out of their mind or as I said, someone up to no good. I find it interesting how our perception of “normal” has changed so drastically since March. It has only been 8 months since the pandemic began and yet our social perceptions have changed in unimaginable ways.

Let that sink in. It has been only 8 months since our lives changed and the pandemic became important in our lives.

I remember back in March when I thought that the news was overexaggerating how bad COVID-19 would be. I remember how I was planning my cruise that I would go on for my 21st birthday in August. I remember coming home from Spring Break thinking that I would be going back to class in a week. I remember when the stores began to shut down. I remember when the state shut down and schools went virtual.

I remember a lot of things and yet, I can’t imagine going into a Walmart now without a mask. I can’t imagine going to any public gathering without a mask.

That being said, the “new normal” is what our perception is and how it has changed. So should it even be considered a “new normal” to begin with, or is this just generally “normal?”

Before I finish this lovely post, I ask one thing of you. Please wear a mask. Stop the spread of COVID-19. We have been talking about weird and our “new normal,” this is one thing that I feel I should not have to say but working in the senior living industry has showed me the damage of this virus. While cases have been steadily going up and down depending on where you are, this pandemic is far from over. Countries outside of America are having to begin shutting down again. While we all may not be in the same situation right now, we all have been affected by the pandemic in some way or another.

So please, wear a mask. Save a life. One action can make a major difference in another person’s life.

That’s all folks! I hope you have a wonderful day! Tell me in the comments about your “new normal.” Has life had to change drastically for you?

Why Self-Care is Important

Hello all! I have been on a short hiatus (in case you were wondering) because I have been working overtime and doing homework when I am not working. Kind of boring I know but hey, that’s what brings us to what this post is about.

I am writing this post as a kind of chit chat because, if you are anything like me, you forget to self-care. Sometimes life flies by you and you lose yourself in the process. Sometimes bills creep up on you and you think that it means that you need to work yourself more. While bills are important, your health also is extremely important. It is definitely important to know when to take a breather from schoolwork and work. It is important that you take time to relax at some point.

Self-care is important because you need time to breathe. Self-care may be done in a variety of ways, I mentioned a few in my 10 Ways to Practice Self-Care During a Pandemic post!

Now, I am a work in progress. I don’t always take the time to practice self-care, in fact this post right now is my self-care because it is calming to just sit down and write. I love writing freely with no restrictions like this. While this is my version of how I self-care, your version of how you self-care could be eztremely different because we all are unique.

But I want you to take this post as a sign. Take it as a sign to breathe and decompress and destress. I’ll definitely be posting more in the next few days but I wanted to write this short post as a reminder to myself and others that it’s okay to do nothing and it’s okay to not work your life away!

Thanks for stopping by! Tell me in the comments below, how do you practice self-care? Have a wonderful day!