I know, I know, I’ve been disappearing and reappearing like the ghost of Christmas past a lot recently. Honestly, these past six months have been the most difficult and life-altering months of my life. I thought I knew more than I did and it shows now more than ever. As you may know, my father died in May. In June, I got an Eeyore tattoo to commemorate him and his memory. He was so tough to live with but I wanted something to remember him with. Then, this past month on Halloween, I got a ghost tattoo. It didn’t even occur to me that it had only been a few months.
It feels like it’s been years and yet only moments since he passed. The world is spinning quicker and yet slower than ever. I wanted to write this post and honestly was listening to the new “All Too Well” 10-minute version and just said screw it and started typing.
The thing about depression in the face of loss or even depression, in general, is that you can be drowning but functioning just fine. You don’t have to be physically running to be getting away from reality.
At the end of the day, every day is easier, but it will always hurt. A loss gets easier but it never disappears. Some days, you will not think about them, and some, you will think about them and wonder what might have been. I always wonder what I could have changed but I couldn’t have changed anything. I miss my father, but I will live every day and work to make him and my family proud.
Thank you for reading!